Relationship rules change as kids grow up and parents age. Responsibility falls to adult children to reach out to their siblings and to parents. “For so much of life, parents learn how to let go of their children. At some point the children need to reach back out to their parents,” to check their well-being, reassure and just talk, said Joyce Gallagher, commissioner of the city’s Department on Aging. “One of the greatest things I learned, and it was through personal experience later in life — my dad had a problem with memory — was not to correct. It wasn’t important to try to get the date right or circumstance. It was important to just listen. [By] breaking into the conversation, you ruin the connection.

Seniors have so much to share and so much information that can be useful if people just take the time to listen.” Gallagher is the mother of 10 children who have all been in each other’s weddings and are godparents to each other’s children. One key to harmony among siblings? “We don’t talk about another person unless they are in the room,” Gallagher said.

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