Very few of us women seem to feel completely happy with our bodies. Despite all the helpful pep talks we get about how “every woman is beautiful in her own way,” we know, deep down, that it isn’t really true. Right? There really are “attractive” and “unattractive” body types, and we could all use some help.

So here’s how to get that figure any woman would want: First you take an ounce and a half of oyl of foxes, oyl of lillies, and capons grease…

Women: Tips for a Perfect Figure